Posts tagged io.

Well, this is my last post about iO

I’m still coughing and blowing my nose a lot, and I still feel very fatigued, so I’ve made the decision to stay home from my last show. (Warning: Introspective stuff about me at iO! Since my iO saga has always had its home on here, I’m posting it here rather than my other blog)

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Good show today but I’m so tired of still not being better at improv

I kinda feel like a million bucks right now. I didn’t even perform especially well but we had SO much fun and my half of the team this week was everyone I really get along with and everyone wa so supportive and we all hugged a gross amount and just. This was probably the most fun in a show I’ve had. And I just had to sprint to catch the train and I made it so LIFE’S GOING PRETTY WELL.

Ugh. I had an off week. For having such a good day, I had a really lame improv show. Ugh.

Ohhhh my god. I have to say.. I’m super proud of how my improv show went tonight. It was just pure fun. Maybe the best I’ve ever felt during a show. I always assume no one on my team cares for me since I neve get to go out with them but I got a lot of welcome backs and good jobs and Im truly feeling great right now.

Ahhhh.

First show down! It went by so fast, I’m kind of shocked. I didn’t get to Doug but it went well! Hardly any nerves compared to last time. Can’t wait to do I again in two weeks!

Mayb its because I still have two months of shows ahead of me, but I feel like I should feel more… something? At the end of all this. Ive officially finished this whole improv program and I still feel like an outsider in it all. Like. God idk. I should feel accomplished which I do a little. I just don’t feel like I’m as good at this as I want to be. I kept hoping this stuff would break through my anxiety and t hasn’t. And the shows could change everything but still. Last class and I dont feel notable or talented or like I went through that much. I’m proud that I didn’t but just feeling anticlimactic.

Ugh I’m kinda the worst aren’t I?

I just left. I don’t feel like these people like me much but it’s my fault at a certain part. Living far away has made it impossible to make friends so people don’t know me well and dont invite me to things and that’s why I don’t feel entirely comfortable. Blah.

Whoa… I just realized…

Tomorrow is my last improv class at iO.

Like, I know I’ll be a student again in the future, but at the current time in that theater… I’m not an improv student anymore. I have two months of being an improviser ahead of me.

Wow. That’s kind of scary. And I don’t know how I feel about what will happen once those two months of shows are up. I just… stop? I’m not good enough to get plucked for a team out of those months. But what time I have left isn’t really enough to start much else in Chicago, if I’m really going to move next year.

Gah. Where did the last year go?

Improv went really well today! I think being around Charna before class kinda gave me a jolt. Like, I’m a dork but I kept picturing that picture of her with Tina and Amy in my head and was like… Live up to this already. I got some big laughs and it made me feel awesome. I did some stuff tht usually scares me, like matched energy scenes (a component of our original form) and I did a scene where I was really emotional which usually intimidates me.

We start shows either the 8th or 15th of January and I’m totally psyched !

Wow so. Its intimidating starting your most important improv level with no warm up, just two person scenes that your teacher breaks down with intense frankness and then asks you what your weaknesses are and tells you your problems before seeing you do anything else.

So. This level might kick my ass. I got called out about my actual acting which I’ve never gotten a notee on before. And it was probably more due to my nerves but I wasn’t expecting it. And I inadvertently trailed last in a scene montage and I got called out on that too. Things I need to hear, maybe, but are jarring for the first class of a level. Though I suppose that since this is the last level and we’ve been here a year, its warrented.

At least there are a lot of people I know and like in class, and people that I didn’t think liked me greeted me warmly. So that was nice.