Posts tagged original comedy.

Call Your Dashboard

Call your dashboard
It’s time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it’s not their fault

But you
Just stan somebody new

Tell them not to get upset
Second-guessing everything they send or post
And then when you tumblr savior
Tell them that you never meant to hurt no one

Then you tell them that the only way their blogs will mend
Is when they learn to reblog again
And it won’t make sense right now
But you’re still a follower
And then you quietly tumblr savior

CALL YOUR DASHBOOOOOARD
ITS TIME YOU HAAAAAD THE TAAAAALK
GIVE YOUR REASONSSSSS
SAY ITS NOT THEIR FAAAAAULT

BUT YOUUUUU
JUST STAN SOMEBODY NEEEEEWWWW

Gimme Gimme Gimme (Some Eggs After Midnight)

Half past twelve
And I’m watching some Late Night in my room all alone
How I always spend my evening all alone

Tumblr gifs
Freezin’ up on my browser as I grumble in my room
And it makes me so depressed to post my gloom

There’s not a pan downstairs
Nothing to fry my prayers

Gimme gimme gimme some eggs after midnight
Won’t somebody help me chase the hunger away
Gimme gimme gimme some eggs after midnight
Take me through the kitchen to the break of day

Pawnee stars
Find the end of the rainbow, with a breakfast to win
It’s so different from the world I’m living in

Never tired of TV
I open the fridge and I gaze into the light
But there’s nothing to see, no eggs in sight

There’s not a pan downstairs
Nothing to fry my prayers

Gimme gimme gimme some eggs after midnight
Won’t somebody help me chase the hunger away
Gimme gimme gimme some eggs after midnight
Take me through the kitchen to the break of day

IDK maybe this will be interesting to others

So Talon had to do a project for a class where he interviewed someone in his dream field of work, and after getting no response from professionals, we’re pretending that I am worthy of being interviewed (I’m not).

But anyway, he asked some questions about writing and improv and my specific history with both and I don’t know, I thought it could be a cool sort of extra ~about me~ information for anyone that is interested in what I study and is looking to study television/writing/improv themselves.

1. What was the skill level of the people you started your iO classes with?
There was a wide range. Personally, I had zero experience with this kind of improv and hadn’t set foot on a stage in five years. But there were people who had experience on college teams, people currently in other improv theaters, people who already graduated from places like Second City and wanted a different perspective, and even people who have made it big in local theaters across the country who have to start from the ground up in a new city. There are also adults who are just passing the time or looking for self-fulfillment or wanting to improv their people skills.

2. How long ago did you start writing?
I think I kind of stumbled into it when I was 15 or 16. I had an english teacher who really supported my writing skills in class, and that’s when I kind of got the bug to write fiction at all, so yeah, I’d say it started about six years ago. But I didn’t really realize that comedy writing was specifically what I wanted to do until I was 18.

3. How did you practice writing, what kind of training in writing have you had/ do you plan to get?
I’ve always been an avid blogger and I know people sometimes think that’s a grey area, but all I know is that blogging keeps me writing even when I’m having writers block, and that’s better than anything. Before I transfered to become a television writing major, I used to just maintain an online journal and write occasional short stories. But now that I’m in a writing program, I take classes on storytelling and scripting and different formats of television. Most of what I’ve taken so far has been general, but I have written a few shorts and a full length sitcom spec. In the fall, I’ll be in classes specifically for sitcom, sketch, and narrative in general, to help shape my writing in a narrower way.

4. How do you plan on making the jump to being an employed writer?
Lots and lots and lots of patience. Which is something I have to build. The majority of success is achieved by pure luck; all you can do is network and meet as many people as you can and hopefully if they make it down the line, they’ll remember you. In the meantime, all I can do is write write write, to hopefully build up a good portfolio.

5. How has iO helped you?
I think writers get trapped on the page a lot; I know when I’m writing that the cleverness of wordplay somehow becomes the most important thing. But in my improv classes at iO, we have to break out of that shell. We’re continually told not to be funny, just to be honest. The scene is about you and your partner, and the relationship between your characters, not on who can say the wittiest thing. And I think that really helps me refocus in my writing and stop being so attached to being funny and remember that it’s all about people’s relationships with each other and the humor will come naturally because people interacting is just a funny thing. It gives me ideas and lets me better understand how people interact with each other in a natural, honest way. When you’re just saying whatever your gut tells you to, it’s obviously more organic than something that’s written on a page.

This is my exceedingly silly Ingrid Michaelson impression. I should have made the lyrics silly but I WAS TOO FOCUSED DAMMIT.

Also, idk why I have an Ingrid Michaelson impression, this is the only song by her I even know…

I got dem hiatus blues

Da na na na na

Show’s on hiatus

Da na na na na

Can’t get no Knope

Da na na na na

Can’t get no Swanson

Da na na na na

My heart is broke

Da na na na na

We’re such a nice fandom

Da na na na na

World just ain’t fair

Da na na na na

I need me some Pawnee

Da na na na na

Or I’ll pull out my hair

I got dem hiatus blues

And they’re bringin’ me down

I got dem hiatus blues

Wearin’ a permanent frown

I CAN’T STOP THIS FEELING

DEEP INSIDE OF ME
PARKS YOU JUST DON’T REALIZE
WHAT YOU DO TO ME

WHEN LESLIE SMILES
WITH HER FACE SO BRIGHT
IT LETS ME KNOW
EVERYTHING’S ALRIGHT

I’M…. HOOKED ON A FEELIN’
AND I’M HIGH ON BELIEVIN’
THAT PARKS WAS MADE FOR ME

BEN’S AS SWEET AS CANDY
HE STAYS ON LESLIE’S MIND
I’LL JUST STAY ADDICTED, IF I CAN ENDURE
ALL THE PAWNEE LOVE, WHEN WE ALL LIVEBLOG
KEEP IT UP DASH, YEAH IT TURNS ME ON

I GOT IT BAD FOR YOU PARKS
BUT I DON’T NEED NO CURE
ALL THE PAWNEE LOVE, WHEN WE ALL LIVEBLOG
KEEP IT UP DASH, YEAH IT TURNS ME ON

IIIIIIIIII’M HOOKED ON A FEELIN’
AND I’M HIGH ON BELIEVIN’
THAT PARKS WAS MADE FOR ME
ALL THE PAWNEE LOVE, WHEN WE ALL LIVEBLOG
KEEP IT UP DASH, YEAH IT TURNS ME ON

IIIIIIIIII’M HOOKED ON A FEELIN’
AND I’M HIGH ON BELIEVIN’
THAT PARKS WAS MADE FOR ME

uprightcitizens:

PAWNEE DREAM. BY CAITY PERRY AND LIZ.

You think I’m pretty
With all of my blazers on
You think I’m funny
When I’m arguing with Ron
I know you get me
So I let my corn maze down

Let’s ruin all the books tonight
No regrets
Just love
Even Ben can dance until we die
You and I
We’ll be dorks forever

You make me feel like I’m living a Pawnee dream
The way you can’t talk on TV
I can’t sleep
Let’s plan a festival and never look back
Don’t ever look back
My heart stops when you look at me
Just one calzone and baby I believe
This is real
Let’s run away to Indianapolis
Indianapolis

We drove to Muncie
And got drunk in a field
Got a motel and
Built a fort out of organized binders
I finally found you
My missing bowl of soup
I’m complete

Let’s ruin all the books tonight
No regrets, just love
Even Ben can dance until we die
You and I
We’ll be dorks forever

You make me feel like I’m living a Pawnee dream
The way you can’t talk on TV
I can’t sleep
Let’s plan a festival and never look back
Don’t ever look back
My heart stops when you look at me
Just one calzone and baby I believe
This is real
Let’s run away to Indianapolis
Indianapolis

I’mma get your heart racing in my ruffled blouse
Be your Pawnee dream tonight
Let you put your hands on me in my ruffled blouse
Be your Pawnee dream tonight

You make me feel like I’m living a Pawnee dream
The way you yelled at Perd Hapley
I can’t sleep
Let’s plan a festival and never look back
Don’t ever look back
My heart stops when you look at me
Just one calzone and baby I believe
This is real
Let’s run away to Indianapolis
Indianapolis

This is what Caity and I like to do. (Imagine it to the tune of “He Loves U Not” by Dream, okay.)

uprightcitizens:

Likin’ posts on his blog til he’s your top crush
Keep likin’ till it tells what you wanna say
Girl you can post a blog full of photos
But he’ll still be my baby

I know you can hardly wait til I’m offline
Instinctively I know what you’re thinkin
You’ll be sending him a Tokbox invitation
But my baby won’t be taken in

You can post your stupid pics
Try to tempt him with your kissy lips
You can post your TSwift songs
He ain’t got his hands tied

No pictures to reblog
No ask box to anon
Stop posting Dianna Agron
He trolls me, he trolls u not

No matter what you do
He’s never gonna reblog you
He’s into what he’s got
He trolls me, he trolls u not

Our greatest hit since Senior Dream.

Here are some dumb jokes I have so far.

• Last night was the Superbowl, the Packers versus the Steelers. It was an exciting game until the halftime show, when the audience realized they were watching the Black Eyed Peas, and not a free showing of Tron: Legacy.
• New studies show that parrots, like humans, use one side of their body more than the other and tend to be left handed. Dammit, that’s why we always bump elbows when we sit next to each other in class!
• It was reported that Miley Cyrus got her fifth tattoo - a dream catcher on her torso. Now she will be protected against her recurring bad dreams, like when the Jay-Z song ISN’T on, The Climb becoming The Fall-Down-and-Hit-Some-Rocks, and the worst of all, sitting through a Billy Ray concert.

I like the Black Eyed Peas one, but the parrot one is mostly a placeholder, and I’m open to suggestions for better bad dreams for the third one (but the last dream in it is STAYING). Let me know what you think!

JOKES! Let me know what you think!

Egypt is in a state of disarray, with the government’s block on the internet and the police attacking peaceful protestors. Dammit Brendan Fraser, can’t you leave the mummies alone already?

A silverback gorilla at an animal park in England has achieved fame for walking around his enclosure on his hind legs. However, upon closer inspection, they found that it was just John Goodman.

In Indianapolis, a funeral home is starting to pull in more money by hosting events besides funerals, such as weddings, bar mitzvahs, and proms. Because nothing says it’s your special day like hosting your party in the same building where grandma was embalmed.